I have been thinking a great deal about friendship lately. What makes a true friendship? Is it a shared idea, shared friends? Some people think that frienship is just being able to use someone when it suits them. Others give lip service to being a friend, but if you need to talk or just are checking in and someone else is more important, you are told in so many words to 'kiss off'. You are not important enough to spend time with.
So how do you tell who your friends are? Sometimes it takes stressful times to see who really is there. Of course you can be the good friend who is always there for someone, but they are not there for you. Why do we have this imbalance? It may be that we don't expect to have our friendships to be reciprocated. Perhaps we just are so happy to have someone talk to use that we accept being second. Is that fair? Probably not, still a number of us settle for whatever we are given.
They say to have good friends is to be a good friend. I am not sure I agree. It seems that people are more concerned with themselves and what they need and not just enjoying someone for who they are. We are judgemental, including me. How do we change that? It is a question worth looking into. It may take time, but perhaps it is worthwhile. Life is too short to have fair weather friends. I say let those friends go who cannot give you time and make friends with yourself. Love those who hurt you and those who don't. The friend worth having will value you for who you are, not what you can do for them. Treasure those and let the rest go.