Thursday, September 29, 2011
I have taken time off from posting. During that time I have been contemplating how to write what in my mind a very difficult post. On February 4, 2011 my mother passed from this life into another place. Whether you believe in an afterlife or not, I do. I truly do believe she is now in a better place.
Do I miss her? Of course. My best friend and sounding board are no longer immediately available to me. There were many phone calls and days spent together after I reach adulthood that are a part of my memories. The gift I will always treasure was the gift of her allowing me to be my own person, make my own mistakes, and still love me and be there for me no matter what. As I write this I find the tears welling up again. They are tears for my loss and I realize that. It will take time, but with the gift she gave me, I will come out on the other side even stronger.
In our conversations over the years I came to know this woman who gave life to me. She was opinionated and if necessary would tell you what you needed to know. She always said, "People think I am being blunt, but if they knew what was going on in my mind, they would realize how tactful I really am." I always loved that about her. She may not always have been right, but she would be truthful, without being hurtful.
She loved children and dolls. Over the years I watched her as she took care of children and usually became good friends with the parents. In many ways she was a grandmother to all of them. There was no way I could be jealous, I was proud and honored that she shared her wonderful gift on how to live life with all of them. That I think is a part of her legacy that will live on. A gift to be shared from generation to generation. The ability to do the right thing, be kind and don't give up on the talents you were gifted with. Life may not always be easy, but continue on for it is glorious in its entirety.
I miss her, always will, but the loss will become bearable with time. We all have a finite number of years here. Use them wisely, I know she always tried to.