I have taken time off from posting. During that time I have been contemplating how to write what in my mind a very difficult post. On February 4, 2011 my mother passed from this life into another place. Whether you believe in an afterlife or not, I do. I truly do believe she is now in a better place.
Do I miss her? Of course. My best friend and sounding board are no longer immediately available to me. There were many phone calls and days spent together after I reach adulthood that are a part of my memories. The gift I will always treasure was the gift of her allowing me to be my own person, make my own mistakes, and still love me and be there for me no matter what. As I write this I find the tears welling up again. They are tears for my loss and I realize that. It will take time, but with the gift she gave me, I will come out on the other side even stronger.
In our conversations over the years I came to know this woman who gave life to me. She was opinionated and if necessary would tell you what you needed to know. She always said, "People think I am being blunt, but if they knew what was going on in my mind, they would realize how tactful I really am." I always loved that about her. She may not always have been right, but she would be truthful, without being hurtful.
She loved children and dolls. Over the years I watched her as she took care of children and usually became good friends with the parents. In many ways she was a grandmother to all of them. There was no way I could be jealous, I was proud and honored that she shared her wonderful gift on how to live life with all of them. That I think is a part of her legacy that will live on. A gift to be shared from generation to generation. The ability to do the right thing, be kind and don't give up on the talents you were gifted with. Life may not always be easy, but continue on for it is glorious in its entirety.
I miss her, always will, but the loss will become bearable with time. We all have a finite number of years here. Use them wisely, I know she always tried to.
Thanks Mom.
10 comments:
Very sweet, Doris. I lost my mother a year ago May and still think of her every single day. Maybe it is the mother-child bond that doesn't go away when one life ends...... Had no idea I was such a "child." I hope for you that with the passing of time you'll learn more about the strengths that grew out of your Mom's wisdom.
Doris, Thank you for the gift of letting us get to know your mother a little through your eyes. She was lucky in you as you were in her. May the bond you share continue to give you solace as you grow on through life.
P.S. I forgot to say that my mom died the day before yours did. That first week of February was a tough one all around.
What a lovely compliment to your mother, Doris. She really was a special person, as are you. My mother is 95 and ailing, yet she continues to paint every day, attend art study club and Vandal football games. We just spent a week together at an old family cabin--a special time. Your blog makes me realize how precious that time is.
Julie
Doris, this is a lovely tribute to your mother. I lost my mother in Feb. 1993, and I still miss her. (I also feel cheated out of adult years with her, as she was only 64 when she passed. Selfish, I know, and she died quickly in full possession of her faculties, as she'd always said she wanted to.) Time is a great healer, but you will never forget her -- these bonds last beyond death. It sounds like her life touched and enriched a lot of lives, and she'll live on in their memories as well. You have my deepest sympathy, and the knowledge that with time, it won't hurt so much, and you may even stop picking up the phone to call her to tell her something important to you -- although I haven't quite gotten past that yet. She sounds like a wise and loving woman.
Thank you all for your kind words and support. It is never easy to lose someone you care deeply about, but to me sharing who they were eases that hurt. We all journey through our life and learn to live and love through our loss. To each one who is on this journey, thank you and my sympathy to you also.
My mother was a tremendous resource and an inspiration for my first book, which was dedicated to her. She passed away five months before the book came out. She had read the ARC and was thrilled for me, though, and I believe she's enjoying my success still - as is yours, Doris
A wonderful post, Doris. I've been thinking a lot about my own mother, who died Sept. 19, 2006. She's in my mind often, but more frequently (and with more sorrow) in September. Thanks for your words and reflections...
This is beautiful, Doris. A wonderful tribute to your mom. It's a very hard time in your life when you lose parents.
Lovely, Dori! What a good relationship you and your mother had. What a gift she is to your life. Your memories of her will aid and support you from now on.
Carol
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